That Four Letter Word Part I

Just like you, I've read books, magazines, seen movies, TV shows, and even witnessed, with my own eyes, the concept of love.
At one point, I didn't even believe such a thing existed, and it's still possible it doesn't exist, but technically, if something has a placebo effect and it's believed to be true, it must be true, right?
The truth is only what the majority believe and what every bit of evidence can prove.
Regardless of what you, your friends and family, or I believe, I feel something, whether it's just something in my mind that I trick myself into believing that has literally become a part of me, or whether it really is something that exists in this world.

Two years ago, on June 28th 2006, I began dating a girl that I instantly felt connected with.
To the point that I was feeling physical pain when she did; I'd feel depressed and call her and she'd tell me she was feeling bad before I even had a chance to tell her, more so than coincidence could explain.
I felt like this girl was a female form of me; my better half, if you will.
All I could think about was her, day and night, I was so afraid that if I showed her who I was, she'd find something about me that she didn't like and she wouldn't want me.
I felt like I'd constantly fuck things up with her, and I was literally petrified to do anything.
Our first date, I was the ripe age of 16; I took her to see a movie.
I sat down in the theater next to her, nervous, but not like in the movies; I wasn't shaking or acting strange, I was just simply scared to do the wrong thing.
We started talking until the movie started, and I can't for the life of me remember how far the movie had progressed when I felt her lips touch my cheek it seemed like a lifetime and I felt a chill run through my body from her luscious wet kiss.
I felt like electricity just jolted through my body and suddenly everything was different, everything I knew in life just dramatically changed.
She kept kissing my cheek, and moved over to my ear and began gently licking the lobe.
I remember hearing her gently breathe while kissing and licking my ear and it made me tingle head to toe and all I could do was stare ahead.
I turned to her slowly and she looked at me with the most seductive eyes I'd ever seen and I leaned forward and got my first kiss.

I had always shied away from girls and never let myself get too close because of some stupid rejection that I had when I went to kiss a girl when I was really young, but I was so glad I had been too shy to get a kiss until that moment.
I knew the second my lips touched hers, I never wanted anyone else to touch my lips.
I never wanted to kiss another girl.
It was just simply the most magical, unreal feeling I have ever experienced.
After I got back, I was bragging to my friend like a schoolgirl and I apologized and he replied "It's cool man, I was the same way when I got my first kiss".
I never wanted that night to end.. The thing about her, is just being near her, she made me feel okay.
Like I was the best looking guy in the world and she didn't care about anyone else.
She just made me feel special, and even though I had only known her for a few months; I realized that she was the person I wanted to be with for the rest of my life.
To Be Continued...